Tuesday, September 12, 2017

“S.P.A." / “P.P.B.M.A." / “P.P.B.M.E.I.S.F.”

Note: The following is not original material. My wife says it came from someone to whom she reported in her job but surely it came from someone else before him. Just enjoy!

Imagine you’re in a meeting, one of those boring company musts or a seminar to which your boss sent you at an exotic location but you’re stuck inside when outside paradise awaits the end of the theater style presentation which doesn’t seem to want to come.

You hear the speaker, a monotone decibel that’s not very loud but deafening because the room is so quiet. Actually it is too quiet, and everyone notices the speaker has stopped talking about a subject no one wants to hear much less learn, but she is far from the end.

“S.P.A.,” she says, emphasizing the individual letters. “S…P…A,” she repeats as she surveys her audience. “How many of you are S.P.A?” she asks and then answers, “Still Paying Attention?”

The room is amused and everyone chuckles, but she stops the laughter short with more initials.

“P.P.B.M.A.?” she proceeds and pauses long enough for everyone to look right and then left and then back at her as she explains, “Or are you Physically Present But Mentally Absent?”

The chuckles are more intense as most many attendees acknowledge the truth of the state of their being that afternoon, thinking the presenter is done with her alphabet game. And then she takes it one last step before she finishes her instruction.


The class leader watches carefully as everyone is now participating in the seminar, trying to put words to the letters, yet no one can figure it out. The murmur that engulfed the room comes to a halt after a few seconds as everyone anxiously turns to the front for the answer.

The presenter smiles, studying each face anticipating something mindful, truthful and funny.

“It’s simple,” she says. “P.P.B.M.E.I.S.F., “How many of you are Physically Present But Maybe Engaging In Sexual Fantasies?”

And that is the end of the non-original story. Hope you enjoyed it.